Catching Flies with Vinegar

Long time no see. I haven’t written since around Easter time. And in my defense, I am leaving it to the Lord to send me inspiration. So don’t blame me, blame Him. Ha, just kidding don’t blame God. Anyway, I finally was hit with a message to write.  I was doing a lot of reading on vacation this past July.  Vacation is a great for thinking. My parents gave me some time off of being a full time mommy and I had plenty of time to just sit with God and pray/think.  I have truly been hit over the head by God this week and I want to tell you ALL about it.

Coffee at Upper Silver Lake

Let’s Talk Transparency

This post is all about transparency.  So in the spirit of being transparent, here is a summary of me; good, bad, weak, strong, and filled to my ears with coffee.

I am constantly battling with insecurities about my body, skills, and relationships while at the same time feeling extremely guilty about feeling insecure because I should know I am “enough” in Christ. I can’t help but feel like a hypocrite when I compare myself to other moms (when I know I posted a blog about not comparing yourself). I am insecure about my excess pregnancy skin and I feel like I do not measure up to those confident mommies who are “proud of their stripes” and “this body shows I am a ‘real’ woman.”  Then there are times when I am self-secure in my appearance and use it to make myself feel good. I bleach my hair and always wear makeup. I battled with depression from middle school through my junior year of college and I was scared out of my mind I would have postpartum depression (and still get nervous it could happen). As much as I strive for a perfect marriage, I stumble and disrespect my husband. But at the same time, I am blessed by God to have the skill to feel confident cooking, cleaning, and parenting my baby (and four-legged children).  Only through God have I been able to be a Biblical wife to my man. I want to be validated by my husband and put too many expectations on him. I struggled with trying to be that stereotypical good girl to the point where I broke and did the opposite of everything I was taught to do in church. I pray when I remember. I worry about everything. I don’t cook every night and I only buy organic from time to time. I do not know how to bake or sew and I am totally okay with that fact. DIY projects scare me. I don’t like getting dirty. I drink too much coffee and sometimes load up the sugar. I eat junk food so that I am not judged for being “too” healthy.  And sometimes I eat pizza and ice cream just because I want to – I’m not perfect. 

And now I feel as naked and vulnerable as my 7 month daughter as she gets changed after a huge blow out…

Now why the heck did I just do that?

There is probably a whole lot more I could post about myself but those are just a few things I wanted to share. Now, why? Some of you may be thinking, she didn’t really need to put herself down like that, but in all honesty, the prior paragraph doesn’t seem degrading to me.  In fact, I think it makes me… me.  God made me with many flaws and weaknesses. And I am THANKFUL FOR MY WEAKNESSES.

In previous posts I talked about attempting to stop your mind from comparing yourself to other people’s lives (especially through social media).  I want to continue from that and build on it.  I see too often on Facebook and Instagram people posting the prettiest prepared food and “morning” bodies.  Not too many people post the most awkward selfie or an epic Pinterest fail.  People (and myself) tend to boast or want to at the least look like they are doing “okay”.  I know that I have fed into this process and I am not proud of it.  I try and fail every day.  I think it is about time to be real.  I think it is okay to post things that are authentic and not posed. 

Now it isn’t always social media. I just tend to draw there because I and some of my close friends struggle with that area.  Maybe it is your family, your friends, your “in-your-face” in-law that seems to want you to perfectly fit in their family mold, or possibly your church.  No matter where it is in your life that makes you feel an unwavering need to look “perfect”, I am telling you there is only one person to strive to be like, and that’s Jesus! And Jesus knows what’s really going on, you are not fooling Him. His opinion of you is the only one that matters.

“Growing up in a Christian culture, I received a lot of messages that God wants nothing more from us than to be ‘good’. We’re to be models of perfection, hid our flaws, and work really hard to earn the love of the people around us and God. What I am learning now, however, is that the message of Jesus in the Gospels isn’t so much about washing your hands before you eat or making things look good by following external rules. It’s more about doing right to be more like Him and to live in close alignment with Him. Recently, I’ve started to feel the desire to submit to Jesus and not be so consumed with what other people think of me.” – One Woman’s Story from “Good New for Weary Women” by Elyse Fitzpatrick

I, too, grew up feeling like I had to be a cookie cutter version of what my parents wanted me to be like in school and church. I also know others who feel they need to pretend everything in their life is good around their traditional family or congregation.  When in reality, I think those two areas are the places we should be able to be raw and vulnerable about our problems.  This fact makes me sad for those who feel trapped in those situations.  In a few paragraphs, I will tell just exactly how we can free ourselves from this vicious perfectionism trap.

Chapter 2 in Galatians is a great place to start and look for verse to comfort us when we feel like we need to be “perfect” in order to please man and God.  The Galatians fell victim to this lie.  In verse 16 its says,

Know that a person is not justified by the works of the law, but by faith in Jesus Christ. So we, too, have put our faith in Christ Jesus that we may be justified by faith in Christ and not by the works of the law, because by the works of the law no one will be justified. - Galatians 2:16 New International Version (NIV)

So let’s be done with attempting to be perfect in everyone’s or our own eyes. It’s tiring. Aren’t you tired of trying so hard?  Because I am.

I dare you to…

Would you find it easier to relate to the person who looks like Ms. Perfect Social Media or with someone who admits to some failures alongside their successes? I would say the latter. I would appreciate the mom who confesses she doesn’t have it all together or the single woman who divulges that she doesn’t know where her life is currently headed.  I want to know that other people are weak and completely relying on their Lord and Savior alone.  “In Christ alone our hope is found.”  … In Christ alone I find time to clean my house like twice a week; in Christ alone I get my laundry done (sometimes), in Christ alone I have the strength to apologize to my significant other when I know I am wrong, and IN CHRIST ALONE I will limit myself to one cup of coffee and one glass of wine every once in a while (just kidding again, maybe… you’ll never know). In Christ alone, life is good!

So I want to pose a dare… I dare you to be real, transparent, and authentic.  Take off that perfect selfie mask and share the truth of your life.  Even though this isn’t the meaning of the phrase I want to make it my own, ever hear “You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar.”  The phrase is talking about kindness, but here in this post I want to change it up. What if honey was our strengths and vinegar was our weaknesses.  What if we put out our honey and vinegar? I think we’d actually catch more flies (or friends) with both.  People want to connect with someone who is like them.  Someone who is perfect is intimidating and immeasurable. If we can all be honest, we all know that person (and I feel like I have actually been the problem once or twice or more).  So in this new meaning of the phrase, we should try to catch flies with vinegar and grow together to find that honey a.k.a. strength through God (I am so pushing this phrase too far). Only through God can we find that pure organic deliciously sweet honey that you can only buy at Wholefoods for like a bazillion dollars for a 6 oz jar, but in all reality it’s free (okay, now I’m done).

I want to encourage you to be transparent to other women around you.  I personally am setting a goal to be open about my weaknesses and sins in an effort to glorify God.  If I fail, I can brag about how BIG of a Savior my God is; and if I succeed, that I can brag about how magnificent my God is to bless my life.

Why are we so scared of having our weaknesses exposed? 

We are still worrying about what others think of us.  Yes, we are and it is going to be hard to stop worrying about what others think.  We fear men (or maybe more so women).  In Proverbs 29:25, it says to us, “Fear of man brings a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.”  Hear that… safe.  We are safe.  We don’t need to be scared.  And if I can be honest, writing and venting this all out to you is scary but the more it comes out on paper (or keyboard) the better I feel.  It is so relieving not caring about what others think or at least knowing people are not seeing the outside of me (but all of me – now let them think what they want).  It is freeing not to worry.  It is freeing to know that God loves me regardless of all the primer confessions I’ve declared above.  You can feel that relief too.  Give it all to God and know everything else doesn’t matter.  You are not defined by your skills, successes, weaknesses, or mistakes. 

Psalm 119: 36-37 says to us, “Turn my heart toward your statutes and not toward selfish gain.  Turn my eyes from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word.”    When we define ourselves by those earthly gifts, then we get scared of not measuring up.  But we shouldn’t worry about those definitions, because we are defined by our Father in Heaven.

I can be confident in saying that I failed many times because I know that I am not defined by my failures. I am defined by my Savior who has already paid the price of all my failures. So instead of worrying if that friend or stranger is going to judge you for your sin, use that weakness to help them, too, become real.  Use your weakness to praise God in front of others.  Believe it or not, God can use your sin to perfectly accent His power, His forgiveness, His love to everyone around you.

And as a side note, as we attempt to not define ourselves by our strengths and weaknesses, let’s also attempt not to judge others by their obvious strengths and weaknesses (it goes both ways).

I went through many periods of depression in my life and here today I live depression free. I was on anti-depressants and now I am not. Did I do that? Nope.  Did that medicine all of a sudden cure me? Maybe. However, I believe it’s all God (and even if the medicine helped, God created the mind of the person who discovered that pill).  The reason I specifically write this is to bring up another point I want to discuss is a sense of anger you could feel towards God for giving you specific weaknesses.  As I was working through my depression, I had a moment of resentment at God.  I would ask, “Why did God make me like this?  Or even state, “How dare He!”  I think this can be a normal feeling (not saying that it is okay).  I hated that I could feel sad randomly over nothing even when my life was going smoothly or that I couldn’t let go of negativity when I was surrounded by it.  I blamed God for my actions and thoughts.

 God may have created me with depression as a weakness but it is my choice to determine how to handle that weakness.  Certainly, I could choose to give into temptation and allow Satan the victory.  I could chose to complain and hate on what my God as created (which is insulting to God and I don’t think we should insult the big man upstairs).  However, even when I’m faced with daily temptations and struggles the truth is that I choose to sin.  For instance, if I am angry about something I need to stop and think about what I am going to do in that situation.  Satan cannot make me choose to sin, it is a choice I make and can become a greater struggle when dealing with my weakness.  See James 1:14-15;

“But each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.”

Everyone’s weaknesses are different; even if we have similar weaknesses, they are still unique to us.  Like my depression, God helped me heal from that anger.  God also equips me in every situation so that I don’t have to sin against Him 1 Corinthians 10:13:

“There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.”

Today, I am a lot more of a joyful person who finds peace in God. Sometimes I get anxious and sad, but God has held my heart and kept me safe from falling back into depression.  I am so thankful at times for going through that because there have been multiple people that were able to tell me, “I am dealing with depression, too, and I don’t think I would have admitted it first.”

Consider all of the examples God gives us in the Bible of failure and weakness.  It is FILLED with sinful people that God used for His greater purpose.  Men/women who murdered, lied, were abused, and were deep in adultery, but God looked at them with love and said, “I want to use you. I love you. You are worth being put in the Bible.”  Isn’t it great to see the Scripture filled with men/women of God who failed?  It’s encouraging to know that God uses our weaknesses and failures for redemptive purpose!  Be brave and admit your sin; jealousy, fear, impurity, lust, dishonesty, gluttony, or any of the 7 deadly sins.  You’d be surprised who may open up to you solely because you disclosed your flaw first.  And that moment has now become a perfect time to witness. Glory be to God for our weaknesses!

Consider some other verses in Galatians Chapter 2:

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!” – Galatians 2:20-21

 Our sin reminds us how much we need to be saved and that because of our Savior we are free from the guilt and shame we feel after we sin. We know that we can live for Christ even though we fail.

So who’s with me? Who is ready to be transparent? Who is ready to put out some vinegar? Who is going to post the bad with the good? Who is going to give God the glory? Who is ready to see our sin and be thankful? I hope I have some other women out there with me. Let’s be brave and go where we aren’t comfortable.  Let us use the #nofilter more often in our lives.

If you need someone to talk to, please feel free to email me at hnorr2911@gmail.com or connect with me through any of my social media sites.  I would love to talk to you and pray with you.  I believe God has big plans for you even if you or they seem small right now.  

Sincerely,

xo

PS: I've just recently be picked to rep jewelry and accessories for a wonderful woman whose Etsy Shop is called Lively Happenings! This month she is featuring her earrings; to check them out, click here!

This girl is getting BIG! Also, earrings by Lively Happenings on etsy!

Chocolate Quinoa Lava Cake

Happy Weekend lovelies! I am so sorry I’ve been slacking a wee bit on posting but family and friends come before writing for me.  I haven’t had ideal time to just sit and think through what God wants me to write. 

Easter Sunday

The last time I wrote to you all it was before Easter.  For those of you who celebrate Easter, I hope you had a beautiful time with your loved ones.  Even though I feel life itself is a daily reminder of Jesus’ sacrifice for us, Easter seems to be a bigger reminder.  A week ago from today, I celebrated Good Friday.  Jesus was willing to die for us and God was willing to give up His only son.  Now that I am a mother with an only daughter, I can’t imagine handing her over to my worst enemy and allowing her to be not only killed, but tortured.  It pains me to think about, but God did that for us. 

God’s grace is just so incredible!  At Woodside Bible Church on the Romeo campus, the speaker emphasized on how Jesus’ death created the bridge between us and God.  Our sins were lifted off of us and placed onto Jesus.  We now have full access to God the Father because of his son’s agonizing death.  But He couldn’t just die for us (even though that gesture of love is so much more we ever deserved any way), He need to rise again in three days.  If our Savior had not resurrected, our faith would be in vain.  Because of His resurrection we have hope.  He fulfilled prophecy and our sins were forgiven.

"But if it is preached that Christ has been raised from the dead, how can some of you say that there is no resurrection of the dead?  If there is no resurrection of the dead, then not even Christ has been raised. And if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith. More than that, we are then found to be false witnesses about God, for we have testified about God that he raised Christ from the dead. But he did not raise him if in fact the dead are not raised. For if the dead are not raised, then Christ has not been raised either. And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins. Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ are lost. If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied.  But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead, the first fruits of those who have fallen asleep.” – 1 Corinthians 15:12-20

Now that we have that good news, I’ve decided to write a bit of a lighter post this week.  As I asked in my very first introductory post, I want suggestions from reader on what to post.  I’ve had people suggest DIY ideas, more baby/mom stories, and what a type healthy meal looks like in our family.  So in today’s post, I will be fulfilling two out of those three (well, kind of)!

Easter Sunday at my parents' house

Adventures of a Stay-at-home Mom

The other day my husband came home from work to find me in scurrying about the kitchen in pretty much only one of his Detroit Tigers T-shirts.  Now before your mind goes to the gutter or you declare TMI, keep reading.  Of course he’s smiling and gives me an alluring compliment, but my mind was scattered.  When I first greeted him I couldn’t understand why he was acting the way he was (just to show how differently our minds work). 

“So…” he continued to flirt with his smile protruding his cheeks, “why did you decide to slip into one of my shirts?” 

I looked down at my attire and giggled, “Well, I splattered cooking oil on my shirt and Brooke pooped on my pants. Your shirt was just the closest thing for me to put on so I could get back to Brooke.”

At least I know that my husband still thinks I’m attractive with the fresh scent of Brooke on my person.  I still got it.

Chocolate Cake... enough said

The second part of this post is going to be about one of my absolutely favorite things in the whole wide world, right below the people in my life… FOOD!  I always goof off that food is my “love language” (to those who have read the Five Love Languages, there’s actually six and yes, it’s food).  I love food and I love how you can use food to truly nurture your body.  Food is something that God has blessed us with to supply us with energy and enjoyment for the day.  I like using it for both of those purposes.

Many people have asked that I post healthy and simple meals that I make for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  I fully intend to soon, but for my first food post I want to share I recipe I found through watching the Food Network.  For those who follow me on Instagram or are Facebook friends with me, I’ve already posted a picture of this cake.  Many people have wanted the recipe so I figured I would post it!  I’ve altered it a tad from the recipe on the show, The Kitchen: Food Network.  But it still turned out delicious!

Ingredients

Cake:

Nonstick cooking spray, for spraying the pan
10 ounces semisweet chocolate
3/4 cup coconut oil
1 1/3 cups almond flour
2 cups cooked quinoa (don’t make the mistake of cooking 2 cups because quinoa doubles in size)
1 cup coconut sugar (you can find this at Meijer or just use regular sugar)
2 teaspoons baking powder
2 teaspoons cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 cup vanilla almond milk (you can also use chocolate milk of any time)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
4 large eggs

Ganache:

10 ounces semisweet chocolate
1 cup vanilla almond milk
1 cup raspberries, for garnish and a snack while making cake

Directions:

Before you start the recipe, make sure you cook your quinoa.  Cook 2 cups of water to 1 cup of quinoa to equal 2 cups of cooked quinoa. 

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees F. Grease a 9-inch round pan with cooking spray or oil (I used coconut oil because I already had it out).  

Place a medium saucepot on medium heat and fill it about ¼ of the way full with water (this will be used to slowly melt the chocolate). Place a medium bowl on top of the saucepot and add the semisweet chocolate and coconut oil. Using a heatproof spatula, stir the chocolate until fully melted and combined with the coconut oil, 7 to 10 minutes. Remove the chocolate mixture from the heat and set aside. Leave the saucepot with the water on the stove.

Mix in a large bowl, almond flour, coconut sugar, baking powder, cinnamon and baking soda. Stir to combine the dry ingredients, the lastly add the quinoa.  

Then add the melted chocolate mixture, coconut milk, vanilla and eggs and mix until fully incorporated. 

Pour the cake batter into the prepared pan and bake until a toothpick or cake tester inserted into the center comes out clean, 50 to 55 minutes. Give it some time to cool off before attempting to take it out of the pans.

For the ganache, reheat the water in the saucepot over medium heat. Place the same bowl over the water and add the chocolate and almond milk. Using your spatula, stir the chocolate until fully melted and combined with the almond milk.

Drizzle the ganache over one of the cake layers and then add the next layer.  Drizzle on more of the ganache and top with raspberries (hopefully you still have raspberries left).

Recipe courtesy of Katie Lee (read more here) on FoodNetwork.com.

Don't be Fooled by "Health" Words

Now I want to make a statement real quick.  This is NOT healthy.  Just because it is a gluten and diary-free cake with quinoa (oooo, fancy) and coconut oil, that does not make it healthy.  Is quinoa good for you? Yes, quinoa contains iron, B-vitamins, magnesium, phosphorus, potassium, calcium, vitamin E and fiber. Quinoa is one of a few plant foods that are considered a complete protein and comprised of all essential amino acids (which make up proteins).  I feel like a lot of people think that just because a food is high in fiber or protein, is whole grain, has gluten-free and organic plastered on it, or is coconut based instead of that “deadly” corn syrup, than it’s GOOD for you.  Ha ha, nope.  Not this recipe.  You are consuming chocolate and sugar.  This is a treat, not a meal.  And I am not claiming this to be a healthy option to your daily plate.

Now that my rant is over, please enjoy this cake! I hope yours doesn't crumb out of the plate or end up looking like Mt. Vesuvius.   

God Doesn't Compare You

Hello lovelies! I want to remind you here and now that you are so preciously created and have beautiful hearts.  

I’m sorry I missed a post last week.  I had many things keeping me from writing, but there was one very important factor in that business.  I didn’t have God at the tips of my fingers.  I was intending on writing a post all about taking care of your body and loving your body the way God wants you to, but I just couldn’t finish.  I wrote about half, had partial notes, and just sat there staring at the screen.  I tried.  I really did.  I had my editor look at what I had done so far and she even liked where I was going but I had writers block and a loss of motivation.  I couldn’t figure out why.  Then it hit me – this wasn’t what God wanted me to write.  I’m not saying God whispers in my ear exactly what to do each time I open up my laptop, but I know He has His ways of showing you the right path.  I decided to stop what I was trying to write and wait for the sign of what God wanted me to write.

The other night I was sitting down with a good friend of mine.  We were having intense girl time.  During a long time of venting, we discussed the issues we felt we were experiencing in our lives.  One of the many commonalities were the struggle with… comparing ourselves to others.  Like my previous post, it is an easy habit to form the comparison game in your mind.  Specifically, we discussed comparing our faith in Christ and abilities to other people.  Whether your faith is new or old, it can also be a source of insecurity for some men and women (even children).  I’ve been there before in many different points in my life.

I want to bring up TWO points in my post today.  When we compare our abilities and relationship with God it can have one of two different outcomes: it can tempt us to beat each other out with who is the "better Christian"; and/or make us feel inadequate in the eyes of others, ourselves, and God.

I want to analyze why we would want our abilities to be put to use.  If we are comparing ourselves and are wishing we could be more like/do more like someone else, than there is a motivation behind that desire.  So why do we want this?  Do we want other people to think we are better Christians (or specifically a spouse or family member)?  Are we questioning ourselves and our relationships with God?  Why do we compare?  What is the root of our comparison?

What's our True Motives?

Let’s be honest.  Raise your hand if you’ve done something to look good.  Anybody out there actually raise their hand alone on their couch?  Let’s be honest… we didn’t, but I’m sure most of us can say we’ve done something to look good or feel good.  We’ve been motivated by selfish desires.  I definitely have.  I know (from personal experience and from witnessing) children even do things just to say they did something nice (in hopes of getting a prize or sticker).  We are almost programmed that way at times.  If you have grown up in a church, you may have had to memorize Bible verses.  Did you get prizes or compliments if you practiced and were able to perform them to your Sunday school teacher? Yeah, me too.  And I also remember that horrible feeling if I didn’t remember to memorize them and all my friends did.  Even though the memorization of scripture is critical, the motives behind doing it were flawed.  If you didn’t grow up in a church, did you still have times where you did something good just so that you’d feel good about yourself?  The world is always going to tempt you with comparison.  The devil is going to make you want to look better than someone else.  At times we even feel that we may be entitled to be praised for our good deeds or good feelings.  If we are doing it to “look” better to others than we are being selfish with our abilities and gifts from God and that’s a sin. 

Galatians 1:10 says:

“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God?  Or, am I trying to please man?  If I were still trying to please man I would not be a servant of Christ.”

When we are trying to be the better out of the two people getting compared, the result is consistent.  We become self-focused and self-serving.  If our outward Christianity is only motivated by selfish desires, than it isn’t strengthening our relationship with God, but rather pulling you away from Him.  We may fool our pastor, the congregation, our family, and our friends, but we are NOT fooling God.  He knows our hearts and He sees our motives and intentions.  The path of out-doing others will lead us to a sad world of discontentment.

So, instead of worrying about what our relationship with God in the eyes of others or our status in the church, we should be working towards building our relationship with God and glorifying him with our abilities.

I want to give a very literal example.  Think of someone important to you that you have a relationship with right now; husband, boyfriend, best friend, or sibling.  How would you feel if they only treated you kindly in public but in private they ignored you?  Or what if they made you someone else’s favorite dinner just because that person’s significant other made it for them? Would you feel special?  Probably not.  The relationship might seem all fine and dandy on Facebook, but behind closed laptops it’s cold and unloving.  God feels the same way.  He wants to be with you in public and private.  He doesn’t want you to outdo someone else’s “Christian” actions.  Just because so-and-so is volunteering a group at a soup kitchen, that doesn’t mean you have to do the same thing to glorify God.  Our outward acts of service do not satisfy God.  Others may see our “good works” but God does not. 

Your abilities and your relationship with God are unique to you and are special gifts from God for only you.  They all come from God and belong to Him (not you).

“Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” – Peter 4:10

Serving God is a privilege of knowing God and caring for people.  We love God and people because God loved us first and gave us a love for others.  Remember, that Christ sacrificed for you and that you really don’t need to sacrifice for Him (John 3:16).  Any ministry that Christ allows us by His grace is for the body (Romans 12:3-8) not for selfish gain.

There is no Comparison

Speaking of this “body”, that I just mentioned… when’s the last time you really looked at your own body?  God created that wonderful body of yours.  It works together to keep you alive and well as best it can.  Your body is made up of diverse parts.  Think about how different every part is (unless it has multiples, like your finger nails).  Your ear is nothing like your thumb and both of them are more alike than they are to your liver.  Like your body parts, God created the church of many parts.  I can’t even take credit for this example because God uses this allegory in the Bible.  I want to use those verse to discourage the second point of my blog post – “comparison can leave you feeling discouraged”. 

The Body of Christ

God made each of us unique with our own strengths and weaknesses.  He considers each of His creations (us) very special to Him (so I’m sure He is fond of when we do not like what He created).  Also, when we start comparing our faith or our abilities, it leads us to sin.  We may wish we were more than we were created to be, hold contempt against others who are “better” than our visions, or show pride over others we feel we have outdone with our abilities.  As I’ve stated before in a previous post, we deserve nothing.  I came across this verse:

"Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ ... Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many." - 1 Corinthians 12:12,14

This verse really speaks to us about what God expects from our lives.  Just as the body has many parts, the church also has many different roles that play within it.  Think about it… a church has the pastor, associate pastors, elders, singers, teachers, ushers, janitors, lawn care volunteers, and more.  There are even jobs that may do completely unnoticed.  Someone makes those bulletins, updates the website, and replenishes classrooms of tissue boxes, and people who wash the windows.  Each person is doing a job that is working towards a purpose for God. 

One woman shared her personal experience with feeling inadequate in her church:

 “During church services that showed the congregation a mission trip summary, a guest missionary speaker talked about the trials and joys of their work in Dakar.  As I was sitting there listening, I immediately felt insecure in my Christianity.  A good Christian was a missionary.  I didn’t do anything even close to those missionaries.  I only worked in the nursery occasionally and sometimes I complained about it.  Those missionaries were put up against near death experiences and all I’m dealing with were fussy toddlers.  I wished I could a better Christian like them.” – Anonymous

I have felt the exact same feelings as the above quote.  There were times as I was rebuilding my relationship with God that I thought I’d never be as dedicated as some people.  I had friends that had been on multiple mission trips in their lives and I’ve yet to go on one.  Many times I felt like I wasn’t really doing my part for God’s work. The woman in the story above really related with me because I too frequently worked in a nursery, yet I didn’t feel like I was “fulfilling my faith.”

I just recently read an amazing book by Elyse Fitzpatrick called Good News for Weary Women and she discusses in her book how a lot of women tend to feel that they can never be the woman they are “expected” to be in the church.  One woman tells her story in her book:

“I’ve gotten so many messages over the years about what God expects of me as the “perfect ministry wife.”  This doesn’t come naturally for me, because I feel socially awkward, I’m not able to speak perfect wisdom to ladies, and I’m not necessarily part of the “in-crowd.”  I’m also expected to open up my home to any woman who wants to come over, at any time, and be available to give whatever someone is asking from me.  If someone is nitpicking me or criticizing me, I’m supposed to make myself vulnerable to that, as its God’s way of sanctifying me.  It’s seen as a sign of a lack of humility or an unrepentant heart to pull away from such relationships.  It’s easy for me to lose sight of the truth:  that only Jesus is perfect and the only way for me to be perfect is to embrace His perfection.”  Good News for Weary Women, Elyse Fitzpatrick

Can any of you relate to either of the two women who shared their stories?

Whether you want to serve and have other obligations, fears, or possibly someone else is already serving in an area that you think your abilities would best be served, we need to remember that God has a role for us.  God does not compare you to other women in your church.  He does not compare His relationships and He does not compare your works in or out of the church.  God says in Luke 16:10:

“Whoever is faithful in very little is also faithful in much, and whoever is unrighteous in very little is also unrighteous in much.”

If you are still struggling with this area, my aunt (Noelle Richter) suggested a small prayer you can say to yourself, “Lord, please help me to be faithful where ever you have me right now, any way you want to use me.”  Prayer is mighty.  Do not underestimate a small prayer.  The chapter in 1 Corinthians continues to elaborate why we need to be content in the roles we are given by God:

Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body.  The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other.  If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. - 1 Corinthians 12:15-26

So like I said before with the ear, thumb, and liver… they are all so different but so useful.  We take for granted different areas of our bodies, but we don’t notice when they are not functioning properly.  Our lives would be a lot more difficult without our thumbs.  I like food.  I like the fact that I can reach up and grab those crackers, cut that soft Havarti cheese, and make a snack at my thumbs’ leisure.  Do you have pets?  They don’t have thumbs.  They can’t just have a snack at will.  Okay, okay… I’m ranting about thumbs.  If all of God’s people are working collaboratively to simply glorify God, then contentment with your abilities and your faith will set in.  When you realize that your role (no matter big or small in your eyes or the eyes of others) is important that you see how God is using you for His purpose.

“Don’t expect God to make you a lighthouse somewhere else, if you can’t be a candle where you are.” (Unknown author)

God's Will Be Done

Everyone in the body has an important part.  Perhaps you have amazing abilities (possibly better than someone else’s) but God may not choose to use those abilities the way you want them to be used.  Christ didn’t come to exert His own will, but rather came to do the will of the one who sent Him (John 6:38).  This is the attitude we should exhibit when we’re not serving in an area we think we’re best suited for.  The heart cry should be, “Father, not my will, but yours be done!”  Total surrender and obedience is necessary, even if it’s difficult.  Christ KNOWS His church and exactly where each member should serve for the edification of it. 

“Who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men.  Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” – Philippians 2:6-8

Where do you need to surrender?  Is an attitude of humility at the heart of your service for Christ?  Are you willing to obey Christ for His glory and your good, no matter the cost?

God Loves and Values Us

So back to the top questions... why do we compare?  What is the root to comparing our abilities and our relationship with God?  Low self esteem is foundation of comparison.  And low self esteem derives from our view of ourselves in Christ.  If we feel loved and valued, we are more confident and feel secure.  God doesn't want us to feel like we need to compete for His affection.  He wants us to know we are going to be loved no matter what we do or what we are capable.  He doesn't care if we are a face in the congregation or the pastor of a church.  He doesn't care if we volunteer at our church every week or if we are scrambling to find time to do one devotional a week.  God loves us!  GOD LOVES YOU!  While you may feel insecure because God made you a toe instead of a vital organ, God feels like He specifically thought of you and knew how perfect you would be as a toe (ok, that was the last body part reference).  But think about it... at the beginning of time God thought about how you would best fit in this world.  I don't know about you, but that definitely makes me feel loved and valued.  God knew how He wanted to create me and what my purpose was in this world.  You are loved.  You are valued.  So please... stop comparing yourself.  You don't need to compare your role in this world or in the church, because God loves the role you play.

Glorifying God

I really hope this blog post can be a source of light or reassurance to someone.  I know some of the prier thoughts are trials that I personally have battled with since I was young, so I pray that my experiences can be used to be encourage others.  Even as a blogger, I need to make sure I am writing for God and not for the public praise of writing for God.  If anyone in my life sees me turning to the dark side, I hope they’d give me this same talk.  These words can be brutal and shocking, but sometimes that is what someone needs who is heading down the wrong path.  I can only pray my blog will continue to ONLY glorify God and not myself.  I would also appreciate your prayers as well!

I’ve talked a lot of this whole glorifying God business.  What does this even mean?  I know I never really used the phrase “glorifying God” until the last year or so.  It is truly a life changing phrase.  It may seem kind of silly to hear that but it’s true.  When you change to life to only glorify your Savior, your life will change!  I’m not going to promise my “Glorifying God” post will be next, but it is coming! So, please stay tuned for my next post.  I can’t wait to see what God has in store for us in the coming weeks.  

“In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” – Matthew 5:16

"God Doesn't Compare Us"

was co-written by Noelle Richter.