The Comparison Game

 So, before I start going off on newest post, I just want to say, “THANK YOU FOR READING MY BLOG!”  Even though I feel like writing is something God wants me to do, if I’m honest I was scared to start writing again.  There are a great deal of blogs out there and so many people who are writing similar things as me.  I definitely have had to take a dose of my own medicine about value.  Does it matter if my blog is read? Is the goal to have this blog become popular?  No and no.  I need to remember that this blog is to glorify God, not myself and what I can do.  So if only one person reads these posts and they get something out of it, then that could have been the sole purpose of my blog in God’s eyes.  Like I stated in the last post about value, this thought process is an on-going battle.  I haven’t mastered it, and quite frankly I think it is a life long struggle about what the world wants us to believe about ourselves.

Let’s segue into the topic of value through my own personal post.  What does the world say about value?  I think most of us know.  And I hate to bring up the whole social media avenue, but it’s true.  We live in a technological world.  I’m not saying it’s a horrible thing, but it opens up the door for us to look for value in the wrong places. 

The world values status.  Status can be a number of things; professional success, appearance, familial contentment, political correctness, popularity, attention, and the lists go on and on.  We know these statuses because we see them through: movies, television, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and even through daily socialization with other people (who have also been influenced by the primer).  Even though I think some people may strive to be successful and live similar lives to celebrities/public figures, I think we compare our lives to people we see every day; for example, our neighbors, friends, siblings, co-workers, and old high school mates we stalk on Facebook.  Why? Because we are constantly tracking and witnessing the lives of others, we are placing ourselves in a world where we can’t help but think about how we compare to them.

Now what does this have to do with value?  Well, people are constantly updating their profiles and posting statuses about exactly what is valuable to them.  You know what I’m talking about… you have the super moms, the health nuts, the sob stories, the photo lovers, the constant updaters, the travelers, the animal lovers, and the advocates.  Everyone tends to post what is most important to them and that’s natural.  I personally tend to post a lot about my husband, dogs, food, Bible verses or quotes, and fitness check-ins.  Why?  Those are things I hold as a priority in my life.  Am I telling you that it is wrong to post things like this?  No, not at all; but the issue becomes a problem when we start playing the “comparison game.”

A verse to reflect on:

^“If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves.  Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else.” – Galatians 6:3-4

The comparison game is actually quite strategic.  Most of what people present to the public is a life of success.  We want to look good and feel valuable.  Social media is an avenue to find this significance.  As silly as it may seem coming from a written source, some of us feel good when we see one of our pictures or updates gets more “likes” or “comments” than the average post.  We feel like people care and we put our value behind what was posted. 

Now even though those moments may feel great, we then struggle with the days we don’t get that kind of love.  We do not see ourselves as significant or as someone else getting social media attention that day.  Alongside that, we may be going through a difficult time in our lives.  It may even seem that our lives aren’t that exciting.  When other people make posts about getting engaged, going on vacation, receiving flowers from their husband, or get tons of “likes” on the fifth   picture of their cute child in a new outfit.  Automatically, the devil is whispering in your ear,“Your life isn’t as good as theirs,” “Other people don’t think your life is interesting because it’s not,” “Your life has no purpose or value right now,” and “Look, that person is going to the gym; what are you doing?”  In response, you may internalize feelings of inferiority and say to yourself, “I’m all alone eating Jet’s pizza, and just sit here night after night watching Netflix.”

So have you been there?  I have. But regardless, I love social media.  I have all of the above types of social media.  I love how it connects people.  But saying that, I know how it can negatively affect me also.  Like other challenges we, women, face together, this is one that is a constant struggle.  I am tempted to delete social media out of my life at times, but then I remember that it isn’t going to get rid of the devil or the negativity he whispers in my ear.  There was no Facebook or Instagram during the days the Bible was written, yet this verse was placed in God’s Word:

“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” - Galatians 1:10 

Whether it is comparing who owns the most camels or who has the newest 2015 model, the devil has been using this game way before social media was even a thought.  So instead of trying to hide from the temptation or devil, embrace you are human and that you need a Savior that is bigger than your Facebook newsfeed!  Use social media as a way to make you stronger.  Social media can be a huge beacon of light to people.  Use social media to connect to others, not disconnect yourself. 

I love the quote I found from Pastor Steven Furtick:

“One reason we struggle with insecurity, we are comparing our behind the scenes to everyone else's highlight reel.” 

Comparison will rob us of our happiness and our TRUE value.  We need to remember that our value does not decrease just because other people don’t notice our value (or if someone is actively trying to make you feel cheapened).  There is always someone who sees our value and His name is three letters long. 

As previously stated in my last post, when we feel sad, angry, or insecure, then our value is coming from a source besides our Savior.  Instead of looking to others for our value, we need to come back to God.  Our lives, with the good and bad, belong to God.  There are two examples in the New Testament of the Bible where Jesus attempts to explain to people that finding their worldly value holds no significance to their lives and to God.  Jesus gives his first instance in Mark when he is confronted by a rich man.  Even though there is no problem with wealth, Jesus knew that people who have more worldly things have a more difficult time admitting they have or need nothing. 

Jesus explains in Mark 10:29:

“Mark my words, no one who sacrifices house, brothers, sisters, mother, father, children, and land—etc.—because of me will lose out. They’ll get it all back, but multiplied many times in homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children, and land—but also in troubles. And then the bonus of eternal life! This is once again the turnaround.  Many who are first will end up last, and the last first.”

From this verse, He is trying to tell us that we need to give up everything we have in life.  And if we are honest with ourselves, everything we have in life is not actually ours to give away.  Our lives belong to God.  Knowing that fact, we shouldn’t compare what we have to someone else because none of us actually have anything that is truly ours.  We are all seen equally by God and are expected to use what is given to us for God’s glory.

Jesus gives us another explain in Luke 12 about how little our earthly priorities really matter to Him.  In this parable, Jesus tells a story about a man who spends all his time and energy into storing up his bountiful crop of grain.  The man takes years and years to collect his reward.  At the end of this story, the man is very pleased looking back at his hard work and is ready to sit back and enjoy what he has.  In verses 20-21, Jesus says: 

“But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?’  This is how it will be with whoever stores up things for themselves but is not rich toward God.”  

To bring this to the real world, I compare it to an actual job.  It is great to work hard in your career.  Working for that promotion or for the money that you will use to support yourself/family is wonderful, but if your hard work isn’t to glorify God than it is worthless. 

So, instead of worrying about how valuable you are to others, if your life looks successful compared to others, or if you feel accomplished; we need to focus on how we can use our lives for God.  Even though this post could go on and on because this topic can be easily broadened upon, I want to end it here.  In my next post, I really am going to pin point how you can change your thinking to focus on God.  My last two posts were to open your eyes and maybe even shock you, now I am ready for a lighter post that can really encourage you.  So stay tuned soon for a post all about how your life can glorify your Creator.

I leave you with a Bible verse that will transition us into the next post on finding value:

“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” – Galatians 2:20

xo